Neufeld Institute: Parenting through the Pandemic Resources
The site provides a range of video recordings, articles and access to recordings of the six-part Parenting in the Pandemic Q & A video series.
Video Recordings include the following with relevance to parents and caregivers of pre-school-aged children, as well as several relating to school-aged children and teens:
· Parenting through the Pandemic, an hour-long evening keynote address on April 16, 2020, by Dr. Gordon Neufeld
· Creating Playgrounds for Emotional Expression, a 78-minute webinar from Tamara Strijack and Hanna Beach
· Autism & Crisis: Walking the Tightrope, an hour-long webinar from Jule Epp
· The Power of Play to Take Care of Us, an hour-long webinar by Dr Deborah MacNamara
There are three articles on schooling and emotional issues for school-aged children and ‘cooped-up’ adolescents, along with Taking Care of Children in Alarming Times, a March 30, 2020, article by Dr Gordon Neufeld.
Dr Neufeld notes the unusual nature of the current crisis. “It is only natural that in times of stress, we seek togetherness. This is how we are wired. But in this case, togetherness – at least in the form of ‘being with’ – is what threatens us, thus creating a perfect emotional storm. …. Given the conflict between what we feel like doing and what we need to do, there are two possible paths to appropriate action. For those not capable of mixed feelings – which include most young children and a disproportionate amount of adults – they are badly in need of well-spelled-out scripts*. These scripts become the main challenge of parents – translating an alarming world into easy-to-follow scripts that each particular child is capable of executing.”
He explains that scripting a child’s behaviour is “to provide the cues for what to do and how to do it…For successful directing, the cues for what to do and how to be must be given in ways the child can follow. It doesn’t work to give negative instructions because that does not actually tell the child what to do. In fact, for the immature and severely stuck, all that registers is often the action part of the command! The “don’t” is often deleted from awareness, leading to the opposite behaviour of what was desired. … Modeling the behavior you want the child to follow is even more effective. Like a director working with actors or a choreographer with dancers, the end result is created first in the adult’s mind.”
Finally, there are links to the 6-part series, Parenting in a Pandemic Q & A Panel, with Tamara Strijack, Deborah MacNamara and Gordon Neufeld. Topic discussed include:
· April 9: Emotional outlets/Keeping close when apart/Teens & isolation/Too much play?
· April 23: What’s ok to share with kids/Big emotions/Sibling conflict/Teens isolating away from family/Confusion of roles – parent or teacher?
· April 30: Boredom/Parenting challenges for frontline workers/Parenting challenges when working from home/Re-entry: what to consider/5-year-old & play challenges
· May 7: Preparing for ‘new normal”/Emotional health and well-being/Facing separation/Aggression problems/ Anxiety, sensitivity & learning/ Alpha problems
· May 14: Things better while at home/Transitioning back to school/ Single parent working full-time, child acting out/ What to do with our own emotions and reactions as parents/ Teen challenges, resistance and defensiveness/ Preventing resentment toward sibling
· May 21: Frontline parents: frustration and alarm of children with increased risk, helping stay close when apart (with 2 year old), finding playful outlets for alarm and frustration/ Returning to school: keeping the classroom safe as a teacher, helping children with elevated anxiety