2020 Babies’ Socialization
Photo by Jason Sung on Unsplash
Delaney Seiferling, writing for Today’s Parent, and with concerns about the social isolation of her own newborn and those of her friends, Interviewed Sheri Madigan, an expert in child development and associate professor of psychology at the University of Calgary, about what parents can do.
Worried that her baby had normalized to only being handled by the immediate family, and had reacted negatively when finally able to meet with grandparents in person and wasn’t spending time with other babies, Delaney asked Dr. Madigan, “Should we be so worried about our babies’ social skills?”
Dr. Madigan reassured that, although it’s true we don’t know the long term effects as yet, she wouldn’t recommend worrying too much, as the key relationship for infants is with their immediate caregivers. So a six-month-old baby doesn’t need to interact with other six-month-olds to learn to be social. They will learn those skills by interacting with and observing parents and siblings in their social relationships with each other and with others outside the immediate family circle, once people starting being able to connect socially in a wider circle.
Dr. Madigan emphasized the value of Serve and Return interactions, staying tuned into your baby’s cues and signals. When the baby serves up a cue, it is like a tennis ball crossing the net. The parent then perceives the cue, and returns it to the child with eye contact, words, and/or gestures.
Research has shown that children have a hard time applying concepts learned from a two-dimensional screen to their actual lives, but while virtual play groups, baby music classes online, or mommy and me yoga classes are not likely to have much direct benefit for the young child, these groups can be really helpful for parents to feel social connected, and can encourage parents to spend guided time interacting directly with their baby, to improve their confidence in this area.
The key element for maximizing the benefit of Zoom interactions with grandparents and extended family is to ask family members to follow the child’s lead and make the interactions as reciprocal as possible. Ideas include reading story books and talking about the pictures, or calling at snack time and sharing the same snack and talking imaginatively about the experience, e.g. “We are eating red apples. What other things are red?”
While masks may hide our smiles, we can still respond to children’s cues with words, eye contact and enthusiasm, and notice and respond to the child’s cues.
If your toddler, by around 15 months, is not demonstrating more subtle interaction cues, like pointing or gazing towards something the caregiver points to (joint attention) then that should be mentioned to your family physician.
Prior to age 3, babies and toddlers do not interact socially with other children in interactive play. Most of their peer-to-peer interaction is “parallel play”, with each child largely absorbed with their own toys.
Dr. Madigan’s biggest concern is not for the effects of social isolation on young children, but rather the stress on parents, who have been experiencing a very difficult time. The social support during the postnatal period is critical to the mental health of mothers and impacts on the caregiver’s ability to be enthusiastic about these focused serve and return interactions with their child. She sees maintaining maternal mental health as the key factor. She stresses the value of asking friends and family to check in with you, and to set up outdoor ‘walks and talks’ with someone to whom you feel comfortable confiding your feelings.
Finally, she notes that, if you are worrying or thinking about your child’s social skills, it is an indication that you are tuning into your baby’s needs and keeping them at the centre of your concerns, despite the challenges of pandemic life.